Nov. 24, 2025
S02 E03: Breaking the Cycle: Healing While Raising Children
Welcome back to The Balancing Act. Today’s episode is one every parent should hear. Niki invites listeners into a raw and honest conversation about parenting while healing, something so many people experience but rarely admit out loud. It is the tiredness you feel before the day even begins. It is carrying emotions you never had time to unpack while still pouring love into your children. It is doing everything for your family while quietly trying to rebuild yourself.
In this episode, Niki opens up about her own healing journey and the powerful moments her children witnessed along the way. They saw her vulnerable. They saw her take care of her mental health. They saw her grow. And those moments became lessons: that strength is not silence, that emotions are real, and that healing is something you are allowed to choose for yourself.
Listeners will explore the emotional weight parents carry, the instinct to give more when you already feel empty, and the truth that children feel everything even when you say nothing. Niki also explains how small, intentional moments can interrupt generational patterns and create a home where emotions are understood instead of feared. This episode is heartfelt, comforting, and truly transformative. If you are a parent who keeps going even on your heavy days, this conversation will speak directly to you. Tune in and let yourself breathe.
Hosted by NikiMarie, a Mental Health Advocate and Radio Personality for Nassau Community College Radio Station, 90.3 WHPC. The Balancing Act explores the highs, lows, and lessons of everyday life, reminding listeners that balance comes from presence, peace, and giving yourself grace.
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Hello, and welcome back to the Balancing Act. I'm your host,
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Nick Marie, and I'm really glad you're here. Today we
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are diving into something so many parents feel but rarely
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speak out loud.
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Now.
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Parenting takes patience, energy, and heart. Parenting while you're healing,
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while you are working through depression, anxiety, or old wounds
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you never had time to face, is a different kind
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of journey. I know because I've lived it. I had
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seasons where I was doing my best for my kids
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while carrying emotions that felt heavy and complicated. But what
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mattered most was that my kids saw me. They saw
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me vulnerable, they saw me take care of myself, they
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saw me grow. I want them to understand, and I've
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always wanted them to understand that mental health health is real,
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Healing takes time, and asking for help is strength. Today
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we're talking about cycles, the silent weight parents carry, and
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how we build a healthier emotional world for the next generation.
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There is a kind of emotional weight that parents carry
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that we almost never talk about. It doesn't make a
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sound and it doesn't always show up on your face,
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but you feel it. It lives in your body. It
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sits in your thoughts. It shows up in the quiet
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moments when the house is finally still and you realize
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just how tired you really are. A lot of parents
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know this feeling, especially parents who are trying to heal
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while raising kids. Healing from depression, healing from anxiety, healing
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from things you never got to unpack, healing from loss
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or heartbreak, or just healing from years where you were
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living in survival mode. When you're a parent going through
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your own healing, it adds a whole extra layer of
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emotional responsibility to everything you do. I want to talk
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about what that actually feels like, in a real, honest
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and vulnerable kind of way. There are mornings where you
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wake up and your first thought is I am already tired,
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like you have nothing else to give, But not because
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you are doing anything wrong, but because you're carrying emotional
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weight from yesterday, or last week, or even years ago.
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Your mind feels foggy, your body feels heavy, and even
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the simplest things feel like a lot. But you get
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up anyway. The kids always need something, right, I mean,
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you get up because your child needs breakfasts. You get
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up because someone needs their hat, or someone needs their
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hair done, or someone need their backpack zipped up.
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You get up because there's.
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A permission slip to sign or a lunch to pat.
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Parenting doesn't pause just because your spirit feels worn out.
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And from the outside people see you doing what needs
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to be done. You look functional, you look responsible, you
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look like everything is under control. People might even say
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I don't know how you do it, and you smile
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and keep going, even though you honestly don't know how
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you do it either, But somehow you do. That is
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the silent weight, the emotional loads sitting under every routine,
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the heaviness that stays with you even when you haven't
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said a word about it. Now, let's talk about what
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that looks like emotionally, because it's not just tiredness. Sometimes
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it's sadness. Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes it's anxiety that shows
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up for no clear reason. Sometimes it's an old memory
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rising back when you thought maybe you were past it.
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Sometimes it's self doubt.
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Sometimes it is simply the pressure of showing up for
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everyone else while you're still learning how to show up
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for yourself. And here's the part that is hard for
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a lot of parents. You do not want your kids
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to carry your emotions, so you end up hiding them.
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You put on a smile, you power through, You say
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I'm fine even when you're not, and you tell yourself
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you'll deal with it later. Except later usually becomes much later.
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So let me paint a picture for you. Imagine a
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parent going through depression. They still get their child ready,
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They still show up to school events, they still help
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with homework, they still laugh at the silly moments. They
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are present, but inside they feel drained or overwhelmed. They
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push through because their child depends on them, but that
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emotional sits on their chests all day. And here's the thing.
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Kids feel emotions before they understand them. They may not
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know the words depression or anxiety or burnout, but they
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know when something feels different. They notice when your voice
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is softer. They notice when you move a little slower.
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They notice when you are not as playful or your
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eyes look tired. They can't explain it, but they feel it.
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Children pick up emotional shifts we don't even realize we're showing.
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This is why communication matters so much for parents who
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are healing. Not heavy grown up conversations, just simple honesty.
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There have been times when I had to say to
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my kids, I'm having a heavy day, but I'm taking
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care of myself, and that oneence does much. It tells
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them the feeling is mine and not theirs. It tells
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them they don't cause it. It tells them adults have
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feelings too, and it also tells them I know how
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to care for myself. That is how you protect them
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without pretending. A lot of parents think hiding every emotion
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is good parenting, but parents who are healing learned that
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small moments of honesty actually creates more safety. When you
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name your emotions, even briefly, your kids are not left guessing.
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You take the confusion away, you take the pressure away.
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This is where healing starts to show up in parenting.
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Healing is not about acting perfect. Healing is about creating
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a home where emotions are allowed, where feelings are not scary,
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where kids learn that people can have heavy days and
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still be loving and studying. Healing is not a straight line.
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Some days you feel grounded. Of the days you feel
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like you are piecing yourself together before breakfast. But every
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time you acknowledge your emotional reality, the weight gets a
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little lighter, and something beautiful happens. Your kids become more
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emotionally aware. They learn empathy, They learn curiosity instead of fear.
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They learn that love does not require pretending. They learned
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that being human is not something to hide. Now Here
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is what every healing parent needs to hear. The silent
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weight you carry is not a sign of weakness. It
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is not a sign that you are failing. It is
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proof that you are healing while still showing up and
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that strength. But that silent weight can lead to something
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else that many parents struggle with, overcompensation. When you feel
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like you're not giving enough emotionally, you start giving more
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in other ways. You try to do everything. You push
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yourself past exhaustion. You try to make up for what
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you think you're lacking, even though you already know that
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you are given too much. When the silent weight becomes
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too heavy, parents start to overcompensate without realizing it.
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So let's talk about what.
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That looks like, why it shows up, and how we
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shift from doing everything to being more present. Let's take
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a break and get into that next layer. Something many
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parents never say out loud but feel deeply is the
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urge to overcompensate. And let me start by saying this.
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There is no manual for raising children. None and my
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dad would say that to me very often.
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We're all figuring it out as we go.
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We are learning in real time. We make decisions based
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on our past, our fears, our hopes, and the promises
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we made to ourselves long before we even had kids.
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Parenting is the most important job we will ever have,
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and somehow it is the one job that comes with
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no step by step instructions. Funny over compensation often comes
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from a place of love, of course, but it also
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comes from fear. It comes from parents who grew up
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without emotional safety, parents who were never allowed to talk
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about their feelings, parents who were punished for crying or
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ignored when they were hurt. Parents who had to learn
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how to survive emotionally, not express themselves. Some parents make
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a silent promise early on, my children will never feel
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what I felt, And because of that promise, they try
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to become everything they needed as child, but all at once,
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all the time, even when it stretches them too thin.
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Let me give you a picture of what this looks like.
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Imagine a parent who grew up in a strict, emotionally
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closed home. Feelings were not discussed, tears were not welcome.
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Vulnerability was seen as disrespect or weakness.
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So this parent grew.
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Up learning to be quiet, strong, and self contained. Now
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fast forward to them as an adult with children of
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their own. Instead of repeating the environment they grew up in,
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they swing to the opposite extreme. They buy everything their
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child wants, They say yes to everything, They try to
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prevent any disappointment or discomfort. They bend over backwards to
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keep their child happy, and even when they are exhausted,
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they pushed through because they want to give their child
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a different experience. Now, on this it looks like love,
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and it is, but underneath it there is fear. Fear
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of not being enough, fear of repeating the past, fear
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of hurting their child the way they were hurt, feeling
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of failing. But here's the truth that can be hard
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to face. Over compensation usually leads to burnout. I mean, yeah, granted, yeah,
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that's pretty much. I mean, it turns parenting into a performance.
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You start feeling like you constantly have to prove something.
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You feel guilty when you can't keep up. You feel
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overwhelmed because you are trying to feel your own childhood
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emptiness through your child's experiences and while your intentions comes
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from a pure place, the impact can be confusing for
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a child. A child who never hears no does not
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learn boundaries. A child who never experiences a little dis
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appointment does not build resilience. A child who is shielded
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from every uncomfortable emotion does not learn how to navigate
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their own emotional world. What children truly need is much
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simpler than perfection. They do not need a parent who
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gives them everything. They need a parent who is emotionally present.
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They need structure that gives them stability. They need boundaries
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that make them feel safe. They need connection that teaches
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them what love actually looks like and feels like when
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you think about it. Children are not looking for the
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perfect parrot. And my son said this to me the
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other day. He's like, Mom, there's no perfect parent. They
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are looking for the consistent one, the available one, the
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steady one, the one who tries over Compensation is not failure.
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It is a signal. It is a sign that healing
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is needed. And the healing does not come from doing more,
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or buying more, or staying yes more. Healing comes from
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shifting your mindset, from moving out of performance mode into
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the connection mode. So Instead of asking how can I
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make sure my child never feels what I felt? The
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real question becomes how can I guide my child through
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their feelings in a healthier way than anyone guided me.
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That is where the real transformation happens. Because parents do
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not break emotional cycles by overgiving. They break cycles by
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modeling emotional health. They show their children what calm looks like,
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what accountability looks like, what repair looks like, what honesty
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looks like, what boundaries look like, what emotional safety really
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feels like. And that is the next part of this journey.
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Once you stop trying to be perfect and start trying
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to be present, you begin to model emotional intelligence without
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even realizing it. That is when the real change happens,
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not just in you, but in your child, in your home,
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and your entire family line. Really, so, let us move
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into the next layer, what it really means to model
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healthy emotional behavior. As a parent who is still healing,
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I think we can all agree that children watch everything.
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They watch what you say, how you say it, and
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what you do when no one else is paying attention.
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They learn from your tone, your reactions, your silence, and
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the way you recover when things get hard. Whether you
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realize it or not, your emotional behavior becomes their blueprint.
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Kids are not looking for a perfect parent, They are
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looking for a human one. They learn how to handle
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their own emotions by watching how you handle yours. When
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we talk about modeling emotional intelligence, what we mean is
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showing your child what it looks like to move through
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feelings with awareness instead of fear. Healthy coping does not
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mean you never get upset or overwhelmed. It means you
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acknowledge your feelings and choose a mindful response instead of
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reacting from a place of chaos. Imagine you have a
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long day, right you're tired, your patience is wearing thin,
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and your child does something that pushes your last button.
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Your instinct might be to snap. Many of us grew
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up seeing that kind of reaction, that quick, sharp, automatic.
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But instead you pause, You take a slow breath, you
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put a hand on your chest, or take a step away,
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and you say I need a minute because I want
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to respond calmly. That moment is so powerful. Now you
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just modeled self awareness, emotional regulation, and you modeled what
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control actually looks like. Your child learns that emotions can
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show up without causing destruction and The truth is, these
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habits take time. No parent gets this right every day.
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Healing is definitely a process, and learning healthier coping strategies
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is a process. And remember that your child is always watching,
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not to judge you, but to learn from you, and that's.
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A process too.
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